Not that Desperate Housewives

The Washington Capitals signed Alexander Ovechkin to a 13 year $125 million contract. It sounds like a lot but look how much they will save in playoff bonuses.

Roger Clemens spoke to 1000 college baseball coaches this weekend. He talked about pitching, conditioning and the need to find a trainer who is mute. Clemens told some jokes and was in a good mood saying the key to life is to be honest and open with almost everyone.

What’s with all the tears lately? Hillary Clinton cries and she wins, Terrel Owens cries when he loses and Toronto Maple Leaf fans cry when they are playing. When told that crying is a political asset Mark Messier broke down and admitted he is thing of running for office.

OJ Simpson was sent to jail for violating terms of his release on armed robbery charges by allegedly threatening a witness. Simpson says he is innocent and treated the man with kid gloves, which didn’t fit by the way.

Sir Edmund Hillary the first man to conquer Mt. Everest died this week. Sir Edmund was one of the few athletes to actually make good on the pick-up line “I’ll climb the highest mountain for you”.

With the Dakar Rally cancelled because of threats of terrorists the sport is looking to find other challenging courses to take its place. Suggestions include Budapest Romania to Bamako Mali, San Paulo Brazil to Mexico City Mexico and Suburban Toronto to Downtown Toronto during rush hour.

A feng shui expert says getting out of bed on the left side will give you a better start to the day. Dallas Cowboy fans know it really doesn’t matter what way you get out as long as Jessica Simpson isn’t on the other side.

NY Knicks coach Isiah Thomas says he would never quit on his team but it’s pretty obvious the feeling isn’t mutual. Thomas recently signed a long term extension and says he will do anything to help the team short of letting them out of his contract.

Scientists in the US have successfully brought a dead heart back to life. This is a stunning achievement and gives hope to doctors, patients and fans of the Miami Dolphins.

Who would have guessed you would be adding Indianapolis and Dallas to the Bucket List?

The Australian Open has changed its court surface to something they call “True Blue”. Meanwhile the Green Bay Packers have no plans to replace their turf which they call “Snow White”.

The CBC has a new show called MVP where the owner of a Toronto professional hockey team is seen looking over the package of her new highly touted draft pick. This is obviously fiction because if Toronto had a chance for a highly touted draft prospect they would have already traded him for a couple of over the hill journeymen. The show centres on a fictional hockey league and the wives of the players. Fictional or not none of the actresses would agree to be a part of the team from Edmonton.