Wonder if the Nashville Predators are going to leave Blackberry owner Jim Basille twiddling his thumbs?
Officials with MADD in Toronto are wondering why the newest addition to the Maple Leafs has a name that rings a Bell.
Seeing Daryl Suter and Mike Keenan of the Calgary Flames select a Swede with their first pick in the draft was like having Don Cherry go to a pet store and pick out a poodle.
A cougar was spotted in the river valley of Saskatoon this weekend. Animal control officials were trying to lure her out by using a 30 year old tennis star as bait.
Kansas City is not willing to roll the dice on Milton Bradley because of the game he likes to play is Trouble.
Marion Jones the Olympic athlete under suspicion of drug use is in financial difficulties. In court she was quoted as saying she had “liquid assets of $2000” which ironically she got by using “liquid assets”.
After watching Earle Connor of Calgary break his artificial foot in the men’s 100 meter amputee race I have to wonder if solder is a performance enhancer? Breaking the foot and still winning the race was defiantly a testament to his metal.
TSN is calling July 1 “NHL Free Agent Feeding Frenzy” because a lot of GM’s are trying to use minnows to land a whopper.
Atlanta’s Bobby Cox officially became the most ejected manager in baseball history. The celebration afterwards consisted of tossed salad, chucked steak and surf and turfed.
I love University sports but it was tough to watch the Brazilians wax Canada in volleyball.
Pacman Jones was tight lipped after being charged with felony coercion with force charges saying he wouldn’t say a thing until he had talked with Barbara Walters.
Kevin Therres of Saskatchewan has created a jet funny car that can run on bio-diesel. In keeping with the environmental theme the Conservatives are hoping to have their Canadian Tire NASCAR entry run on hot air. Another advantage of having a car that runs on canola is when the engine overheats it makes great trans fat free fries.
Ousted Thailand PM Thaksin Shinawatra is under suspicion over where the money for his $162 million takeover offer of the Manchester football team came from. Officials became suspicious when the down payment was made in stamps.
Emma-Jayne Wilson became the first jockey win in the 148 year history of the Queens Plate. The win was more impressive as tradition dictated she had to ride side-saddle.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
June 21 2007
By trading away most of their core team it seems like the Nashville Predators are preparing to move to Hamilton by leveling the playing field with Toronto.
When asked how it felt to hit 600 home runs slugger Sammy Sosa of the Texas Ranges said “I’m pumped”.
The Los Angles Dodgers are looking to ban all large flags and wraps in the stadium for the upcoming season. This could create a problem with customers in the “all you can eat section”.
Alan Eagleson is upset no one has fingered him to be a part of the upcoming Canada-Russia under 21 Hockey Summit.
When asked how it felt to hit 600 home runs slugger Sammy Sosa of the Texas Ranges said “I’m pumped”.
The Los Angles Dodgers are looking to ban all large flags and wraps in the stadium for the upcoming season. This could create a problem with customers in the “all you can eat section”.
Alan Eagleson is upset no one has fingered him to be a part of the upcoming Canada-Russia under 21 Hockey Summit.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
June 20 2007
Is the replacement of 73 year old John Muckler with 65 year old Bryan Murray just an excuse to begin a youth movement?
The success of UFC72 seemed to catch most observers off guard. Who could have predicted a sport that has been compared to a glorified bar brawl would be a hit in Ireland?
Kobe Bryant has a first on You Tube a steamy video that is not sex related. The people who filmed it were shocked when Kobe declined to buy the video saying he has never passed before. Kobe Bryan is still adamant he wants a trade or failing that, trade the rest of the team. If Jerry Buss gives in to Kobe he should be forced to take another breathalyzer.
I didn’t realize the Pope was such a fan of auto racing until the Vatican released a Ten Commandments of Driving and number 4 was “do not pit in the last 10 laps unless under a yellow caution flag”.
Seeing Jim Playfair, John Muckler and Claude Julien get fired from the NHL after successful seasons I guess it’s obvious winners never quit… they get fired.
New information has led to the assault charges being dropped against Minnesota Wilds forward Derek Boogaard. The new information was found in a video of the highlights from his fights last year.
Pro Bowl linebacker LaVar Arrington was seriously injured in a suspicious motorcycle accident. What was suspicious is he had on a helmet and showed no indications of drugs or alcohol in his system.
Watching smokers John Daley and Angel Cabrera light up the course in the past week has anti smoking activists fuming. Organizers are now considering a “No Players” Open.
The success of UFC72 seemed to catch most observers off guard. Who could have predicted a sport that has been compared to a glorified bar brawl would be a hit in Ireland?
Kobe Bryant has a first on You Tube a steamy video that is not sex related. The people who filmed it were shocked when Kobe declined to buy the video saying he has never passed before. Kobe Bryan is still adamant he wants a trade or failing that, trade the rest of the team. If Jerry Buss gives in to Kobe he should be forced to take another breathalyzer.
I didn’t realize the Pope was such a fan of auto racing until the Vatican released a Ten Commandments of Driving and number 4 was “do not pit in the last 10 laps unless under a yellow caution flag”.
Seeing Jim Playfair, John Muckler and Claude Julien get fired from the NHL after successful seasons I guess it’s obvious winners never quit… they get fired.
New information has led to the assault charges being dropped against Minnesota Wilds forward Derek Boogaard. The new information was found in a video of the highlights from his fights last year.
Pro Bowl linebacker LaVar Arrington was seriously injured in a suspicious motorcycle accident. What was suspicious is he had on a helmet and showed no indications of drugs or alcohol in his system.
Watching smokers John Daley and Angel Cabrera light up the course in the past week has anti smoking activists fuming. Organizers are now considering a “No Players” Open.
Monday, June 18, 2007
June 17 2007
The US Open is the type of tournament duffers everywhere dream of participating in. When 26 over par can get you in the money it makes our professional dreams seem a step closer. The original cut on the US Open at the Oakmont course back in 1927 was 31 over par or as Phil Mickelson called it “wishful thinking”.
You know it’s going to be a long day when one of the selections from your golf bag is a weed whacker. Seeing the players lose their tempers when they ended up in the rough now explains to me the origin of the word crabgrass. It takes a special kind of caddy to work the US Open because in addition to raking the traps they have to reiki the golfers.
I felt sorry for Pittsburgh native Jim Furyk’s decision to use a driver on 17 instead of an iron, which in hindsight was an inaccurate selection.
After failing to win after trailing for the 28th time in a tournament, maybe it is good to have a Tiger on your tail.
Now not to say NBC’s coverage of the Open was focused too much on Tiger but you had to chuckle when, while waiting to see Tiger tee off, an audible cheer could be heard in the background. Asked one golfing head to the other “What do you think that was”? If I had to guess it would be someone else winning the tournament!
Some of the recent advancements in humanity give me hope and others… well…
What gives me hope is how much attention is being given to the incredible racing season rookie driver Josh Hamilton is having and how little of it is based on his being the first black driver in 61 years. Jackie Robinson has to be smiling from up above…
What gives me reason to wonder is a report that British researchers are advocating the development of animal/human embryos. This means that potentially the next Tiger Woods could actually be part tiger.
It seems the Federal Conservative Government is trying to put a little tiger in their tank by sponsoring a car in the Canadian Tire NASCAR series. Driver Pierre Borque says the car is competitive although it does have a tendency to suddenly veer right.
What would a modern day sports column be without a passing reference to bodily fluids?
So I wonder, is it just a coincidence that Calgary is opening a new urology clinic the same time as they hire “piss and vinegar” coach Mike Keenan?
And Troy Ellerman the former commissioner of the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association has been found guilty of leaking confidential urology reports. The judge in the case has rejected his attorneys’ plea deal saying it was too watered down.
With all of the athletes cooperating with the courts on drug testing it might be time to change the name from plea deal to pee deal.
Now a story that gives hope to every frustrated parent who thought their kid was wasting their time. Video gamers are excited over the formation of a professional league and the first ever draft of players will be held in the Playboy mansion. This could have a profound effect on athletics everywhere. What kid wants to risk injury when they can get paid to be surrounded by Bunnies and play with their joystick? Sports writers across the country are crying foul arguing that they have the copy write on sitting on their butts while being paid to virtually direct the players.
The press is still in a righteous snit over the actions of Prince Harry at a recent visit to the Cowboys Nightclub. I personally don’t know what all the fuss is about. He was just engaging in one of his fathers’ favorite sports…bird watching. Apparently he has developed an interest in the rare double breasted mattress-thumper. I know…cheep shot!
It seems like in tennis as in love breaking up is hard to duo. Longtime doubles tennis partners Daniel Nestor and Mark Knowles had announced earlier they would be splitting up after the upcoming Wimbledon Tournament. Those plans it seems are on hold after winning the French Open and Queens Club event. Nestor now says that due to their recent success he wants to wait until the end of the year before he starts play with his new partner Nenad Zimonjic of Serbia. That must be the sporting equivalent to telling your mistress you will marry her after your wife has collected her inheritance.
After watching my beloved Saskatchewan Roughrider dismantle the BC Lions in a pre-season contest, is it too late to get a seat for the home playoff game? I’m pretty sure I was genetically programmed at birth for cheering for losing teams. My other favorites are the Chicago Cubs and Alberta New Democrats.
What is it with the Cubs this year and all the fighting? First there is the altercation between their own pitcher and catcher, then manager Lou Pinella gets into a scuffle with the umpires and this weekend Derrick Lee is throwing punches at San Diego pitcher Chris Young. The saddest part of that altercation had to be that it was the first no-hitter by a Cub in years. And what was with Carlos Zambrano taking off his belt in the middle of the scrum? It looked like he was either going to administer some corporal punishment or award the WWF heavy weight title.
The Edmonton Oilers have sent out an 8 minute video to potential free agents extolling the virtues of living in Edmonton. I was a little surprised when I realized it was narrated by Chris Pronger. The video was to be a sort of “virtual Welcome Wagon” for potential players as the real one is still stuck in a snowdrift.
Finally, isn’t it great to see sports can be such a unifying force in our country? With the Montreal Canadians trading Sergei Samsonov to Chicago all of Quebec can agree on a separation.
You know it’s going to be a long day when one of the selections from your golf bag is a weed whacker. Seeing the players lose their tempers when they ended up in the rough now explains to me the origin of the word crabgrass. It takes a special kind of caddy to work the US Open because in addition to raking the traps they have to reiki the golfers.
I felt sorry for Pittsburgh native Jim Furyk’s decision to use a driver on 17 instead of an iron, which in hindsight was an inaccurate selection.
After failing to win after trailing for the 28th time in a tournament, maybe it is good to have a Tiger on your tail.
Now not to say NBC’s coverage of the Open was focused too much on Tiger but you had to chuckle when, while waiting to see Tiger tee off, an audible cheer could be heard in the background. Asked one golfing head to the other “What do you think that was”? If I had to guess it would be someone else winning the tournament!
Some of the recent advancements in humanity give me hope and others… well…
What gives me hope is how much attention is being given to the incredible racing season rookie driver Josh Hamilton is having and how little of it is based on his being the first black driver in 61 years. Jackie Robinson has to be smiling from up above…
What gives me reason to wonder is a report that British researchers are advocating the development of animal/human embryos. This means that potentially the next Tiger Woods could actually be part tiger.
It seems the Federal Conservative Government is trying to put a little tiger in their tank by sponsoring a car in the Canadian Tire NASCAR series. Driver Pierre Borque says the car is competitive although it does have a tendency to suddenly veer right.
What would a modern day sports column be without a passing reference to bodily fluids?
So I wonder, is it just a coincidence that Calgary is opening a new urology clinic the same time as they hire “piss and vinegar” coach Mike Keenan?
And Troy Ellerman the former commissioner of the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association has been found guilty of leaking confidential urology reports. The judge in the case has rejected his attorneys’ plea deal saying it was too watered down.
With all of the athletes cooperating with the courts on drug testing it might be time to change the name from plea deal to pee deal.
Now a story that gives hope to every frustrated parent who thought their kid was wasting their time. Video gamers are excited over the formation of a professional league and the first ever draft of players will be held in the Playboy mansion. This could have a profound effect on athletics everywhere. What kid wants to risk injury when they can get paid to be surrounded by Bunnies and play with their joystick? Sports writers across the country are crying foul arguing that they have the copy write on sitting on their butts while being paid to virtually direct the players.
The press is still in a righteous snit over the actions of Prince Harry at a recent visit to the Cowboys Nightclub. I personally don’t know what all the fuss is about. He was just engaging in one of his fathers’ favorite sports…bird watching. Apparently he has developed an interest in the rare double breasted mattress-thumper. I know…cheep shot!
It seems like in tennis as in love breaking up is hard to duo. Longtime doubles tennis partners Daniel Nestor and Mark Knowles had announced earlier they would be splitting up after the upcoming Wimbledon Tournament. Those plans it seems are on hold after winning the French Open and Queens Club event. Nestor now says that due to their recent success he wants to wait until the end of the year before he starts play with his new partner Nenad Zimonjic of Serbia. That must be the sporting equivalent to telling your mistress you will marry her after your wife has collected her inheritance.
After watching my beloved Saskatchewan Roughrider dismantle the BC Lions in a pre-season contest, is it too late to get a seat for the home playoff game? I’m pretty sure I was genetically programmed at birth for cheering for losing teams. My other favorites are the Chicago Cubs and Alberta New Democrats.
What is it with the Cubs this year and all the fighting? First there is the altercation between their own pitcher and catcher, then manager Lou Pinella gets into a scuffle with the umpires and this weekend Derrick Lee is throwing punches at San Diego pitcher Chris Young. The saddest part of that altercation had to be that it was the first no-hitter by a Cub in years. And what was with Carlos Zambrano taking off his belt in the middle of the scrum? It looked like he was either going to administer some corporal punishment or award the WWF heavy weight title.
The Edmonton Oilers have sent out an 8 minute video to potential free agents extolling the virtues of living in Edmonton. I was a little surprised when I realized it was narrated by Chris Pronger. The video was to be a sort of “virtual Welcome Wagon” for potential players as the real one is still stuck in a snowdrift.
Finally, isn’t it great to see sports can be such a unifying force in our country? With the Montreal Canadians trading Sergei Samsonov to Chicago all of Quebec can agree on a separation.
Friday, June 15, 2007
June 15 2007
A man is suing his dry cleaners for $54 million over a pair of lost pants. The move is already paying off as he is now representing Alex Rodriguez in his next contract negotiations. This is the biggest example of being taken to the cleaners since Mike Millbury’s last trade.
The anti-globalization activists “The Yes Men” were threw out of an Oil and Gas Conference in Calgary after falsely charging $50. a person for a talk on oil pricing. Officials with the Petroleum Industry were suspicious from the start when they agreed to do the talk without needing stock options. Officials with the Federal Tories are investigating as the name "Yes Men" is currently held by the cabinet.
The Calgary Flames announced former head coach Jim Playfair will be an “associate coach” to Mike Keenan. That’s like being named “associate wife” along with Angela Jolie. Daryl Suter sounded like the Miss Universe pageant host when he said “If for any reason Mike is unable to fulfill his butt kicking duties…”
I just hope the long layoff Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoia has forced on her fiancée Tony Parker hasn’t affected his inside game.
The San Antonio Spurs have swept the Cleveland Cavaliers making it the first time a broom has been used in Cleveland for years.
The Calgary Stampede will be holding its last horse this weekend ending a 120 year tradition. Punters wanting to lay down bets on races will have to be satisfied wagering on who will cross the line first to purchase a $750,000. 1-bedroom condo.
Fans in Hamilton lined up to purchase season tickets for the upcoming NHL season despite not having a team. Fans in Toronto were envious saying at least they have something to hope for.
Billionaire Daryl Katz has increased his offer to $150 million in his attempt to purchase the Edmonton Oilers. The extra $5 million is a result of finding some loose change in his couch.
The anti-globalization activists “The Yes Men” were threw out of an Oil and Gas Conference in Calgary after falsely charging $50. a person for a talk on oil pricing. Officials with the Petroleum Industry were suspicious from the start when they agreed to do the talk without needing stock options. Officials with the Federal Tories are investigating as the name "Yes Men" is currently held by the cabinet.
The Calgary Flames announced former head coach Jim Playfair will be an “associate coach” to Mike Keenan. That’s like being named “associate wife” along with Angela Jolie. Daryl Suter sounded like the Miss Universe pageant host when he said “If for any reason Mike is unable to fulfill his butt kicking duties…”
I just hope the long layoff Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoia has forced on her fiancée Tony Parker hasn’t affected his inside game.
The San Antonio Spurs have swept the Cleveland Cavaliers making it the first time a broom has been used in Cleveland for years.
The Calgary Stampede will be holding its last horse this weekend ending a 120 year tradition. Punters wanting to lay down bets on races will have to be satisfied wagering on who will cross the line first to purchase a $750,000. 1-bedroom condo.
Fans in Hamilton lined up to purchase season tickets for the upcoming NHL season despite not having a team. Fans in Toronto were envious saying at least they have something to hope for.
Billionaire Daryl Katz has increased his offer to $150 million in his attempt to purchase the Edmonton Oilers. The extra $5 million is a result of finding some loose change in his couch.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
June 14 2007
After removing 5000 trees from the Oakmont Country Club USGA officials say the decision was clear cut. According to new guidelines global warming will now be par for the course.
After hearing Samson Sor Siriporn was released from prison for winning the female WBC light heavy weight championship Paris Hilton is said to be hitting the speed bags. Representatives of Ms. Hilton say she will announce her intentions once she has chosen the appropriate belt and purse.
The Calgary Flames have signed Mike Keenan to coach the squad this year ruling out a return of both Jim Playfair and fair play. Sources close to Keenan were unavailable for comment as according to Keenan, no one comes close to him.
Three “unnamed” cyclists tested positive for steroids yesterday. Officials say they won’t release their names until they have officially won the Tour de France.
David Beckhams wife Posh has filmed a reality show on the couples move to America. The show will follow Posh as she renovates her new home with the tentative title “Spend it like Beckham”.
After hearing Samson Sor Siriporn was released from prison for winning the female WBC light heavy weight championship Paris Hilton is said to be hitting the speed bags. Representatives of Ms. Hilton say she will announce her intentions once she has chosen the appropriate belt and purse.
The Calgary Flames have signed Mike Keenan to coach the squad this year ruling out a return of both Jim Playfair and fair play. Sources close to Keenan were unavailable for comment as according to Keenan, no one comes close to him.
Three “unnamed” cyclists tested positive for steroids yesterday. Officials say they won’t release their names until they have officially won the Tour de France.
David Beckhams wife Posh has filmed a reality show on the couples move to America. The show will follow Posh as she renovates her new home with the tentative title “Spend it like Beckham”.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
June 13 2007
After much deliberation it is now confirmed by Jamaican police that being strangled after your team loses in the World Cup of cricket is considered dying of natural causes.
Chris Chelios has signed a new contract with the Detroit Red Wings. Officials with the team were delighted when Chris gave them the senior’s discount.
Canadian Paralympian Jeff Adams appeared to pass his drug test until his catheter showed up on You Tube.
Pacman Jones has agreed to drop his appeal of the one year suspension levied by the NFL saying “it’s what Paris Hilton would do”.
Watching the Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander throw a no hitter against Milwaukee has really upset Boston Red Sox hurler Curt Schilling. He just can’t seem to shake it off.
Toronto Maple Leafs centre Matts Sundin has asked for a one year deal instead of two citing the “fool them once” rule.
Chris Chelios has signed a new contract with the Detroit Red Wings. Officials with the team were delighted when Chris gave them the senior’s discount.
Canadian Paralympian Jeff Adams appeared to pass his drug test until his catheter showed up on You Tube.
Pacman Jones has agreed to drop his appeal of the one year suspension levied by the NFL saying “it’s what Paris Hilton would do”.
Watching the Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander throw a no hitter against Milwaukee has really upset Boston Red Sox hurler Curt Schilling. He just can’t seem to shake it off.
Toronto Maple Leafs centre Matts Sundin has asked for a one year deal instead of two citing the “fool them once” rule.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
