Eric Lindros has shown maturity in announcing his retirement and a surprising amount of honesty when he back dated it to his time with the Maple Leafs.
Wonder if Patrick Roy flinched when he heard Al MacInnis was headed for the Hall of Fame with him?
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Darcy Tucker is scheduled to be in an episode of Little Mosque on the Prairie tentatively titled “Allah I want is to stop getting injured”.
A letter leaked to the media says former Colorado Avalanche forward Steve Moore’s lawyer, Tim Danson had his offer of a handshake snubbed by the group representing Todd Bertuzzi. Lawyer Geoffrey Adair who represents Bertuzzi later clarified the snub saying he offered him a “Gordie Howe Handshake”.
In an effort to recoup the cost of recent player signings the Calgary Flames and Edmonton Oilers announced ticket prices will now be tied to the price of oil.
I’m not sure what will be more memorable the victory by the Saskatchewan Party or the party after a Saskatchewan victory.
Reports out of Calgary say former quarterback John Hufnagel has agreed to a 6 year deal to coach the Stampeders. The news came as a surprise to current head coach Tom Higgins who thought John was in town to scout for a new location for a Cowboys Nightclub.
Finally my girlfriend has become a hockey fan and she even has a screen saver of her favorite hockey player Jiri Tlusty. The Maple Leafs tried a new line combination in practice with Tlusty between Chip and Dale. If Tlusty uploaded naked pictures on Facebook what was he sending to Buttbook?
NY Rangers John Avery denies he was making fun of the cancer that has affected Toronto Maple Leafs Jason Blake. Avery says the reason for the pre-game scuffle was the Leafs Darcy Tucker crossed over the centre ice line without saying “Mother may I?”
In an effort to create some interest in the NHL in California Fox Sports has asked people to name the rivalry between the LA Kings and Anaheim Ducks. Among the suggestions were “Freeway Faceoff”, “Crosstown Showdown” and “I can’t believe it’s not Baseball”.
The Nashville Predators were going to announce a deal to sell their team on Friday but it was delayed when for some unknown reason the businessmen buying the team were unable to contact each other on their Blackberries.
A poll in Calgary says only 65% of people are happy living in the City and of those 75% are Saskatchewan Roughrider fans. The Roughriders practiced with loud speakers on the sidelines this week. Initially it was thought this was to get the team used to the noise in BC Place but later it was confirmed they were just trying to block out the crying from ex GM Roy Shivers.
Have to wonder if his suspension will stop BC Lions defensive tackle Jason Jimenez from using his good luck saying “break a leg”
NY Knicks Stephon Marbury reportedly said he “knows things” about Coach Isiah Thomas that would keep him from sitting on the bench, mostly he would never find him. Marbury was fined $200,000 which will go towards the sexual harassment settlement against the Knicks.
Alex Rodriguez is saying he still wants to help NY Yankees win a World Series and towards that end has opened negotiations to become a member of the Boston Red Sox.
Rickey Williams has been reinstated to play in the NFL and is considering playing for the Miami Dolphins again once they can come to a joint agreement.
The Calgary Stampeders are still unsure of the fate of coach Tom Higgins and say they will release a statement once they see what the penalty for ending his contract will be.
One of the world’s biggest diamonds was auctioned off this week and a source close to the sale could not reveal the owner but added he was happy Kobe was still fooling around.
Packman Jones of the Tennessee Titans pleaded guilty to a minor charge in a strip club shooting clearing his way to resume playing football as soon as he finds the real shooter.
OJ Simpson faces a trial for kidnapping and armed robbery after a Grand Jury found because of his fit they had to convict.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Not the Write Stuff
Striking Hollywood writers are thankful for the break as it took all their efforts to write the Colorado Rockies fairytale script.
New England coach Bill Belichick was upset over reports of the strike in Hollywood until he realized it was the writers on strike not the cameramen.
The Canadian Toy Testing Council released its picks for the Christmas season and I was surprised to see Mark Bell’s Smash-Up Derby scored so poorly.
The Italian Mafia has been dealt a series of setbacks with the capture of one of their boss of bosses, the infringement of other gangs into their territory and worst of all the failure by the New England Patriots to cover the spread.
If the Canadian Loonie keeps outpacing the US Dollar pretty soon the Toronto Maple Leafs defense will look like a bargain.
Calgary Flames coach Mike Keenan is taking the recent 3 game losing streak in which they have been outscored 12-3 in stride. It must be the high altitude which requires more time to bring things to a boil.
I know it wasn’t a sporting event but who among us were not secretly cheering when the Pakistan Police had a convincing win over a heavily favored group of lawyers.
Mark LaFleur son of former Montreal Canadian great Guy LaFleur was denied bail after breaking terms of his release by staying at a hotel instead of his parents’ house. Guy was outraged by the decision saying “Who doesn’t break curfew?”
The Minnesota Wild publicly are saying centre Wes Walz is unavailable for games due to “personal reasons” but privately they have no idea “Where Walz Go”.
With the comedy writers on strike viewers in search of laughs are demanding more Miami Dolphins and St. Louis Rams games.
You know people in Saskatchewan have their priorities straight when more people tried to get tickets to Sunday’s playoff game than registered to vote in the Provincial election. Here’s a suggestion to increase voter turnout for next election, have a referendum on keeping the Riders in Saskatchewan on the ballot. Chances are while they are there to say yes they might take a chance on picking a candidate as well.
Andy Pettitte has turned down $16 million, Alex Rodriguez turned down $81 million and Joe Torres left after being offered $10 million over 2 years. This trend has been picked up by ABC who are coming out with a new sports quiz show “Who doesn’t want to be a Yankee Millionaire?”
Baseball free agent Jose Guillen is under suspicion for buying human growth hormone and steroids from a Florida Anti-Aging Clinic. In his defense Guillen says in no way were the drugs performance enhancing just something to help with his laugh lines.
New England coach Bill Belichick was upset over reports of the strike in Hollywood until he realized it was the writers on strike not the cameramen.
The Canadian Toy Testing Council released its picks for the Christmas season and I was surprised to see Mark Bell’s Smash-Up Derby scored so poorly.
The Italian Mafia has been dealt a series of setbacks with the capture of one of their boss of bosses, the infringement of other gangs into their territory and worst of all the failure by the New England Patriots to cover the spread.
If the Canadian Loonie keeps outpacing the US Dollar pretty soon the Toronto Maple Leafs defense will look like a bargain.
Calgary Flames coach Mike Keenan is taking the recent 3 game losing streak in which they have been outscored 12-3 in stride. It must be the high altitude which requires more time to bring things to a boil.
I know it wasn’t a sporting event but who among us were not secretly cheering when the Pakistan Police had a convincing win over a heavily favored group of lawyers.
Mark LaFleur son of former Montreal Canadian great Guy LaFleur was denied bail after breaking terms of his release by staying at a hotel instead of his parents’ house. Guy was outraged by the decision saying “Who doesn’t break curfew?”
The Minnesota Wild publicly are saying centre Wes Walz is unavailable for games due to “personal reasons” but privately they have no idea “Where Walz Go”.
With the comedy writers on strike viewers in search of laughs are demanding more Miami Dolphins and St. Louis Rams games.
You know people in Saskatchewan have their priorities straight when more people tried to get tickets to Sunday’s playoff game than registered to vote in the Provincial election. Here’s a suggestion to increase voter turnout for next election, have a referendum on keeping the Riders in Saskatchewan on the ballot. Chances are while they are there to say yes they might take a chance on picking a candidate as well.
Andy Pettitte has turned down $16 million, Alex Rodriguez turned down $81 million and Joe Torres left after being offered $10 million over 2 years. This trend has been picked up by ABC who are coming out with a new sports quiz show “Who doesn’t want to be a Yankee Millionaire?”
Baseball free agent Jose Guillen is under suspicion for buying human growth hormone and steroids from a Florida Anti-Aging Clinic. In his defense Guillen says in no way were the drugs performance enhancing just something to help with his laugh lines.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Loonie Daze
Alex Rodriguez is opting out of his contract with the NY Yankees thus giving the Texas Rangers $21.3 million reasons to cheer. Alex says the decision is based on the Yankees no signing the players needed to take the heat off his sub par playoff performances. Alex says he will discuss all potential offers and is interested in Canada, not as a place to play but to buy.
The 13-10 win by the NY Giants against Miami Dolphins gave London England fans everything they wanted, rain, violence and a low scoring football game.
After signing Mikka Kiprusoff, Robyn Regehr and Jerome Iginla to long term deals at less than market value you have to wonder if the players are taking a home team discount or if GM Darryl Sutter moonlights as a private investigator. Sutter says next up is Dion Phaneuf and he expects to start negotiations once the film gets developed.
After getting shelled again at home Toronto Maple Leafs GM John Ferguson Jr. is asking the NHL if they can play some home games in Buffalo.
Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Randy Jones was suspended for 2 games for a hit from behind on Boston Bruins forward Patrice Bergeron, 1 game for the hit and another for being a Flyer.
The Canadian loonie has reached historic highs against the American dollar which is causing havoc on players visiting Canadian strip clubs. Now instead of making it “rain” they can only cause a drizzle.
Britney Spears mom is writing a book on child rearing and not to be outdone Travis Henry’s mom is writing a book on birth control.
Top 3 Signs your Hockey Fantasy Draft Picks are not working out
#3 The goalie is your top point producer and your centre is leading the league in shutouts
#2 Real picks by the Toronto Maple Leafs GM are outperforming yours
#1 Your fantasy cheerleaders are demanding to be traded
The Dali Lama visited Ottawa this week and among his words of divine inspiration was to “Take Indianapolis and the points”.
The same people that are upset Calgary Stampeders quarterback Henry Burris lost the most outstanding player nomination to Saskatchewan Roughrider quarterback Kerry Joseph are still insisting Ramses should have got the nod over Moses. Joseph led his team to the Promised Land and revived the faith of a Nation, enough said!
The 13-10 win by the NY Giants against Miami Dolphins gave London England fans everything they wanted, rain, violence and a low scoring football game.
After signing Mikka Kiprusoff, Robyn Regehr and Jerome Iginla to long term deals at less than market value you have to wonder if the players are taking a home team discount or if GM Darryl Sutter moonlights as a private investigator. Sutter says next up is Dion Phaneuf and he expects to start negotiations once the film gets developed.
After getting shelled again at home Toronto Maple Leafs GM John Ferguson Jr. is asking the NHL if they can play some home games in Buffalo.
Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Randy Jones was suspended for 2 games for a hit from behind on Boston Bruins forward Patrice Bergeron, 1 game for the hit and another for being a Flyer.
The Canadian loonie has reached historic highs against the American dollar which is causing havoc on players visiting Canadian strip clubs. Now instead of making it “rain” they can only cause a drizzle.
Britney Spears mom is writing a book on child rearing and not to be outdone Travis Henry’s mom is writing a book on birth control.
Top 3 Signs your Hockey Fantasy Draft Picks are not working out
#3 The goalie is your top point producer and your centre is leading the league in shutouts
#2 Real picks by the Toronto Maple Leafs GM are outperforming yours
#1 Your fantasy cheerleaders are demanding to be traded
The Dali Lama visited Ottawa this week and among his words of divine inspiration was to “Take Indianapolis and the points”.
The same people that are upset Calgary Stampeders quarterback Henry Burris lost the most outstanding player nomination to Saskatchewan Roughrider quarterback Kerry Joseph are still insisting Ramses should have got the nod over Moses. Joseph led his team to the Promised Land and revived the faith of a Nation, enough said!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
The Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to sign underage junior John Tavares in an attempt to circumvent the NHL draft rules. Skeptics think this is an attempt by GM John Ferguson Jr. to deflect his current problems but Ferguson denied this and is quoted as saying “Look at the shiny diamond”. Toronto is proposing a return to the days when each team had territorial rights to their players although they expect to see some reluctance from Phoenix and Florida.
The National Lacrosse League has agreed with the players union on a new 7 year deal. Terms of the contract were not immediately available although a source close to the negotiations said 2 for 1 coupons were in the mix. With salaries averaging $19,000 owners felt giving them more would jeopardize their eligibility for food stamps.
NBA commissioner David Stern is altering the rules governing officials being allowed to place bets. Stern says the will allow referees to bet on games that don’t matter like Lotteries, NCAA Tournaments and any tilt involving Seattle or Memphis.
NHL players are asking to be allowed to wear uniforms without the new waterproof treatment. Players say the water is pooling and this is one area where they don’t want their cup to runneth over.
Michigan State football coach Mark Dantonio says he will not suspend 3 players accused of robbery noting they lead the team in steals and picks.
San Diego Chargers are most likely to play their home game on Sunday despite the fact over 10,000 people are camping out in the stadium due to brush fires. Officials say they will have to re-vamp their tailgate party to include baby formula as well as beer. Asked if the soot filled air will affect the players a team spokesman says they will just pretend they are playing in the Meadowlands.
Miami Dolphins tackle Zack Thomas will miss Sundays game in London England because of whiplash from a car accident. Team officials said the accident could have been worse but at the last minute Zack swerved into the right lane.
The National Lacrosse League has agreed with the players union on a new 7 year deal. Terms of the contract were not immediately available although a source close to the negotiations said 2 for 1 coupons were in the mix. With salaries averaging $19,000 owners felt giving them more would jeopardize their eligibility for food stamps.
NBA commissioner David Stern is altering the rules governing officials being allowed to place bets. Stern says the will allow referees to bet on games that don’t matter like Lotteries, NCAA Tournaments and any tilt involving Seattle or Memphis.
NHL players are asking to be allowed to wear uniforms without the new waterproof treatment. Players say the water is pooling and this is one area where they don’t want their cup to runneth over.
Michigan State football coach Mark Dantonio says he will not suspend 3 players accused of robbery noting they lead the team in steals and picks.
San Diego Chargers are most likely to play their home game on Sunday despite the fact over 10,000 people are camping out in the stadium due to brush fires. Officials say they will have to re-vamp their tailgate party to include baby formula as well as beer. Asked if the soot filled air will affect the players a team spokesman says they will just pretend they are playing in the Meadowlands.
Miami Dolphins tackle Zack Thomas will miss Sundays game in London England because of whiplash from a car accident. Team officials said the accident could have been worse but at the last minute Zack swerved into the right lane.
Games too Dawn Long
I let my internet security lapse last week and with all the virus’s out there I felt like an NBA team on a road rip.
Cassie Campbell is about to become the first woman hockey player to be inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame. Asked about the accomplishment CBC commentator Don Cherry said “Yeah but she wasn’t the first person elected who played like a girl".
Paul Kelly was officially introduced as the new head of the NHLPA and in keeping with a defense attorney who has prosecuted the mafia called the current collective agreement an offer they should have refused.
Not to say the Baseball playoff games are too long but I watched a hockey game between the first and second innings.
Top 3 signs the baseball playoff game is too long…
3 Name changed to 7 AM stretch
2 After 5th inning vendors start selling breakfast burrito
1 Yogi Berra is yelling “It’s over already”
I put all of the free agents John Ferguson Jr. signed into my fantasy draft and the computer froze up.
Cassie Campbell is about to become the first woman hockey player to be inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame. Asked about the accomplishment CBC commentator Don Cherry said “Yeah but she wasn’t the first person elected who played like a girl".
Paul Kelly was officially introduced as the new head of the NHLPA and in keeping with a defense attorney who has prosecuted the mafia called the current collective agreement an offer they should have refused.
Not to say the Baseball playoff games are too long but I watched a hockey game between the first and second innings.
Top 3 signs the baseball playoff game is too long…
3 Name changed to 7 AM stretch
2 After 5th inning vendors start selling breakfast burrito
1 Yogi Berra is yelling “It’s over already”
I put all of the free agents John Ferguson Jr. signed into my fantasy draft and the computer froze up.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Hair Apparaent
Another Grey Cup ring belonging to former Stampeder Alondra Johnson has surfaced in addition to the one currently on E-Bay. Experts say there is a vast market in fake sports memorabilia mostly being purchased by men who want to impress women with championship rings they claim are their own. The ring on E-Bay has a current bid of $1700 by J. Ferguson Jr. in Toronto.
Former Olympic downhill skier Cary Mullen resigned after being elected for town council in Chestermere Alberta. Mullen said his busy traveling schedule would not allow him to attend Council meetings and was led to believe he would not have to attend like a Senator. After learning of his victory Liberal Leader Stephan Doin begged him to run in the upcoming election saying there was no chance he would win but could be a great help to a Party going downhill at breakneck speed.
Toronto was in a state of euphoria when it was discovered an American sporting team would play a home game in their city. The excitement quickly turned to disappointment when it was revealed the team was the Buffalo Bills and not the Buffalo Sabers. The big question on the mind of Toronto sport fans has to be if the City is big enough to support another loser?
Members of the Buffalo Bills came to Toronto to do some PR, donate $1500 to a sports charity and sell their Toyota Land Cruisers for a tidy sum.
The Ottawa Senators are said to have an inside track on signing free agent Peter Forsberg with the only sticking point being Forsberg’s demand he be paid in Canadian dollars.
NASCAR driver Carl Edwards is upset his teammates don’t congratulate him for his victories, acknowledge his help when they win a race and worst of all didn’t even notice his new hairstyle.
With the NFL holding a regular season game in London England does this qualify as a Bye Bye Week?
Former Olympic downhill skier Cary Mullen resigned after being elected for town council in Chestermere Alberta. Mullen said his busy traveling schedule would not allow him to attend Council meetings and was led to believe he would not have to attend like a Senator. After learning of his victory Liberal Leader Stephan Doin begged him to run in the upcoming election saying there was no chance he would win but could be a great help to a Party going downhill at breakneck speed.
Toronto was in a state of euphoria when it was discovered an American sporting team would play a home game in their city. The excitement quickly turned to disappointment when it was revealed the team was the Buffalo Bills and not the Buffalo Sabers. The big question on the mind of Toronto sport fans has to be if the City is big enough to support another loser?
Members of the Buffalo Bills came to Toronto to do some PR, donate $1500 to a sports charity and sell their Toyota Land Cruisers for a tidy sum.
The Ottawa Senators are said to have an inside track on signing free agent Peter Forsberg with the only sticking point being Forsberg’s demand he be paid in Canadian dollars.
NASCAR driver Carl Edwards is upset his teammates don’t congratulate him for his victories, acknowledge his help when they win a race and worst of all didn’t even notice his new hairstyle.
With the NFL holding a regular season game in London England does this qualify as a Bye Bye Week?
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