Column 10

Doctors in the US are demanding a recall of all hot dogs saying they pose a choking hazard and in a related topic Olympic hotdoggers are being checked for chocking during medal runs.

Over 50% of food vendors have been cited for violations at the Olympic Games which explains why even when curling isn’t on tap people can be heard yelling “Hurry... Hurry... Hard...”

Instead of going for gold many spectators seem to be going for... ever!

After seeing the ratings numbers for Tiger Woods apology the Canadian Olympic Officials are setting world records beating competitors to the “I’m sorry” microphone.

David Letterman and former President Bill Clinton were expected to be in attendance for some Olympic curling then they found out it was a different kind of in turn

Japan is blaming their poor performance in the bobsleigh on a sled made by Toyota before they began to go wildly out of control

Greece has broken out in riots over austerity measures caused by a massive budget deficit. Out of concern for public safety Greek officials are asking Canada to keep the Olympic flame for a while until they get the rioters under control.

Anyone who has tried to get around Vancouver without a map can sympathise with the coach of the Netherlands sending his athlete on the wrong lane

Parents at the Canada-Germany hockey game were telling their children the noise is Lou... not boo... and then the politicians came in and spoiled it...

Athletes and Olympic officials from all over the world are taking advantage of the free medical and dental available to them. This has created a new rallying call for the British athletes... “Brace yourself”