July 17 2007

Rapper Big Boi has designed the uniform for the Grambling University football team but admits he had some concerns on where to put the holster for the run and shoot. The only player to complain was the kicker who said it was hard to launch one with the waist at his ankles. Not quite sure he got the purpose behind the helmet but I have to admit when you wear it backwards it makes a statement.

Michel Therrien has signed an extension with the Pittsburgh Penguins and must know what it feels like to win a golden ticket to Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Terms of the contract were not released but Therrien is expected to still have visiting rights to his first born.

Watching LeBron James dance at the ESPY awards reminds me I haven’t burned all my MC Hammer records yet.

US Secretary of State Condalesa Rice is said to love playing golf although she has a lot of trouble in sand traps. She decided to take up the game after hearing that soldiers would like to tee off with her. Condalesa is said to be incredibly honest and never asks for a gimmie, do over or mulligan. Despite her love of the game she has passed on an invitation to the Desert Classic. One of her quirks is instead of yelling fore when someone launches one she yells… incoming! Sources say the reporter that asked her if she played a round with Bush is resting comfortably in Gitmo. Someone please stop me…

That Kevin Lowe is crazy like a fox. First he sends out a video of Edmonton to all the restricted free agents wives and then he offers their husbands unrealistic money to sign. Next year they will be the only team with room under the salary cap.

New England Patriot cornerback Asante Samuel and Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs have turned down multi year contracts that would pay them almost twice as much each year as CFL teams can pay for the whole roster. American players are obviously miffed as most of them made more while playing in High School. Asked why they didn’t pay the CFL to be a “farm team” a league spokesperson said “if you are getting the milk for free… why buy the cow?”

Veteran import CFL players are sounding like my dad talking about the “old days” when they reminisce about how little the Canadian dollar was worth. When going to the bank they had to go uphill, barefoot, in snowdrifts against the wind, both ways.

In an effort to soften his image Ron Artest is in Africa helping to distribute rice as part of the NBA’s “Feeding One Million” campaign. Artest is said to be upset with his agent saying I thought it was a "feeding one millionaire” gig. Asked if he felt he was making a difference Artest said he is giving it his best shot.

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is adamant a franchise in Hamilton isn’t financially viable saying it wouldn’t make a nickel.