July 19 2007

Sr. golf legend Gary Player says in an interview performance enhancing drugs are becoming a part of golf, listing viagra, rogaine and metamusil as the most often abused.

Tiger Wood says the biggest problem in the PGA is hangovers and credited the number of players driving over 300 yards to improved tees.

I’m sure Tiger is right in saying tradition and fair play is much more important in today’s athlete than millions and millions of dollars.

Gary Sheffield hinted in an interview that Barry Bonds might have used performance enhancing drugs saying if he took them he would look like Barry… crippled.

Gary said he once took something that he placed under his tongue and came from a Pez dispenser shaped like Popeye.

Gary showed his knowledge of steroids saying they could only be injected into a persons butt. Officials with MLB feel the same saying every time someone talks about steroids it becomes a pain in the ass.

In an eerie co-incidence if you goggle steroid symptoms you get a copy of Barry’s injury reports.

NHL free agent Randy Robitaille undertook an unusual training session by running sprints against a horse. After winning most of the races Randy said he was in better shape because the horse only runs after Stampeder touchdowns.

By doing nothing in the free agent market and losing key players it doesn’t take Harry Potter to see the NHL Order of Phoenix will be last. This is said to be the darkest Harry Potter movie of them all to which Wayne Gretzky replied not near as bleak as our power play.

Rexall Drug billionaire Daryl Katz is said to be putting together another bid for the Edmonton Oilers. The bid has been put on hold while results determine if Katz has been sampling his own product.

After the brutal last season and unsucessful free agent hunt maybe having ready access to drugs would be a benefit to the Oilers owner.

The Nashville Predators staged a day long drive to secure an additional 3000 season tickets to save the team from relocation. The slogan for the campaign is “Our Team” which narroly beat out the longer version “Our Team is skating with other teams”.

The Brazilian spectators at the Pan Am Games are incredibly hard competitors competing against the home side. For instance in the marathon they are handing competing runners bottles filled with tequila, they take their own shots at the shooting range and before the open water swim they were all encouraged to flush twice.

The Atlanta Falcons are promising to focus on football after Michael Vick returns from his hearing saying they will keep him on a tight leash.

According to Vicks lawyer the prosecutions case is more bark than bite.

Only Michael Vick could go to the Underdog movie to scout talent.

Toronto announced it will be the host city for the 2008 MLS All Star Game just ahead of news David Beckham has already been selected as a starter.

Eric Lindros is said to be so involved with his work on the NHL Players Association he hasn’t noticed his agent has not yet had an offer. Asked if he thinks this could be his last year Lindros dodged the question, hit his head on a wall and is sidelined for 2 to 4 weeks with concussion like symptoms.

Eric is on the selection committee for the new Head of the Association but maybe he has been KO’d a few too many times because his first choice is Alan Eagleson.

The United States Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has to destroy ice stockpiled for use in the hurricane Katrina disaster. To make the ice useless they have contracted the NHL maintenance staff for the Florida Panthers.

NY Yankee Roger Clemens is stuck at 2 wins and 4 losses since his return but his supporters are saying his presence in the clubhouse is worth every penny. Asked for a reply Penny said she was doing OK before and for a whole lot less.