1.5 million man march

A Brazilian judge has ignited a storm of controversy by issuing a ruling that “homosexuals must form their own teams in order to play soccer”. In his ruling he cited the case of Tim Hardaway v tolerance.

Well there goes Mark Bell being the toast of the town. Bell was sentenced to 6 months but if the court has any compassion they will consider playing with the Maple Leafs as time served.

The court recognized his profession and asked that his sentence not begin until the season ends or thee Leafs are clearly out of the playoffs. This means it is possible for Bell to begin serving his sentence in January. Bell pleaded no contest which coincidentally is the usual result of a Maple Leafs game.

It has been reported Bell’s alcohol level was .15 or nearly the same as that of GM John Ferguson Jr. when he made the trade for him.

Prince Fielder has been suspended for 3 games as a result of an altercation with an umpire in which he is said to have contacted him. In his defense Fielder said the fact they were both over 250 lbs. meant they bumped bellies with each other, but my gut feeling is he’s going to lose the appeal.

NBA referee Tim Donaghy pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud after it was stated in court he used code words to transmit tips to high stakes gamblers. The FBI was tipped off when a wiretap recorded Donaghy saying “Etbay noay hetay nicksknay”

The two gamblers that were involved in the case were code named “Baba” and “Sheep” and are being charged separately with point shearing. NBA Commissioner David Stern must not have read the report when he was quoted as saying “Donaghy was the only Black sheep of the flock”.

Jose Offerman is probably thinking over his decision to take another crack at playing baseball. A middle aged man who attacks someone with a bat is either on steroids, suspects the guy is sleeping with his wife or has been told to collect a debt for Tony.

I think Jose just realized how much Roger Clemmons got for coming out of retirement and decided to take it out on the first pitcher he faced. Like all ticking time bombs his teammates were quoted as saying “he seemed like such a quiet guy”. It looks like Offermans baseball career is over but his friends hope it won’t affect his dream to become a postman.

By attacking both the pitcher and catcher Offerman earned the headline “Ballistic batsman breaks bat battering battery”.

Pacman Jones is considering a career in music with a release of his song “Let it shine” a take off on his wrestling move “Let it rain” and his police move “Let me explain”.

Chris Chambers is pleading not guilty to DUI charges because his blood alcohol level was .06 not .08. Police on the scene said he may have passed the breathalyzer test but he didn’t pass the buck.

Over 1.5 million people are reported to have been moved to make way for the Beijing Olympics thus clearing a path for the road race. Removing 1.5 million people from China created an employment boom for the people who made the rug to sweep them under. Officials say the people evicted had a choice, make room for the hammer toss or get a hammer tossed at them.

Toronto Blue Jay Troy Glaus has a condition of the foot called plantar fasciitis which makes him the most famous Troy to have foot problems since Achilles.

Serbia's Ana Ivanovic was eliminated in a major upset by China's Zi Yan at the Rogers Cup. Asked to explain her win Ana said she was motivated because to lose would mean she would be one of the 1.5 million people moved out of Beijing.

In his first start with the Los Angles Galaxy David Beckham had a goal, an assist, a yellow card and made everyone forget that nobody watches soccer.

To show just how much of an impact he has had on US sports, when David Beckham was given a yellow card Bobby Cox was ejected for complaining about the call.